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doctors are just like you...




i'm always puzzled when i come across folks who still put doctors up on some golden pedestal.  i find it to be a funny psychological remnant of our Victorian past, this idea that physicians are somehow 'better' or 'more godly' because of the knowledge and skill they have collected.

so i'm going to let you all in on a little secret:  doctors (and sometimes especially doctors) are NO different than the rest of y'all.  there is absolutely no reason to elevate the egos of doctors everywhere, and in fact, the more humble you keep us, the better.

for the most part, we are a highly refined group of basket cases (please note that this is an obvious generalization, and does not apply to each and every physician.  there are many, many good people doing good doctoring out there, and i sincerely hope that each and every one of you is lucky enough to find one.), pushed to our intellectual, emotional, psychological, and occasionally, physical limits.  my years in medical school were like the co-ed high school experience i missed out on -- it was catty, judgemental, clique-y, full of large egos and weird personalities, and was often very regressive.  it was difficult for me to look around at my peers from day to day and think that in a mere couple of years, they would hold the fate of lives in their seemingly immature hands.

of course, it was a pressure cooker environment, meant to really weed out those who could adequately complete the training and take on the job from those who just could not cut it.  presumably, everyone there is considered smart enough, otherwise they would never have made it past the admissions process.  its the other, more taxing, parts of the job that they need to make certain we can handle...the stress, the grueling hours, the anxiety, the ability to perform ethically at all times, the inevitable failure felt when a life is lost, the neglect of one's own health and well being, the abandonment of one's own personal desires and agenda.  i could go on, but i believe you get my point.  i used to believe that anyone, as long as they had the mental acuity and the determination, could go to medical school and become a doctor like i did.  i still believe that, but only partly...

i guess it depends on your definition of 'doctor'.  if you're of the mind that doctors have a great and grave job to do, and they should approach their work like a vocation, then you and i are in agreement.  but, if you're of the opinion that they have a great, grave vocation and should be treated like rock stars who's egos are pampered and who's wallets are fat, then i'm sorry, you lose me there.  there was a day, not too long ago, when a doctor hung his shingle out over his door, set his own prices, and administered his 'care' with full independent authority.  those days, much to the disappointment of a lot of the older physicians who i found to be my teachers, are long over.  managed care and insurance systems have obliterated that mode of practice, but it seems they haven't erased that old mindset, from the populace or the doctors being cranked out of medical schools from year to year.

my ex husband is a pediatrician, not even a specialist, and he believes he walks on water daily.  he has been known to literally stomp his feet in tantrum over the fact that other 'lesser' professions can produce a higher salary or more recognition than his.  he has been overheard proclaiming that he 'saves lives every day' on more than one occasion. he does not believe, however, that the rules apply to him.  for instance, he is a routine violator of HIPAA regulations that have been created to protect patient confidentiality.  there have been countless times over the years, dating way back to medical school, wherein i have had to remind my husband that he should not be talking openly (or at all) about that patient or his/her case here at this family party or here at this restaurant.  he enjoys bragging about who's children he sees, especially if they are in the sports community.  on another most recent occasion, he openly recounted details of a very high risk case involving the child of a common friend in front of people who knew her -- details that she would not have wanted people to know -- all because he was the treating physician.  Doc Kxxxxxx's ego is his first priority, most certainly NOT your child's care or your privacy.  

this kind of arrogant narcissism is absolutely toxic when it is inherent in a physician.  it will harm, and it will kill.  there is no doubt that physicians should categorically be held to a higher standard, in all aspects of their life as well as their practice.  they begin to drill this fact into our heads from the first day of med school -- don't even accept something as simple as an ibuprofen on the ward from a nurse, because that can be perceived as a future dependency issue;  don't go out for dinner on your night off, have a few drinks, and then drive home; don't screw around with your superiors, for it will demonstrate poor ethics.  yes, if we want to enjoy the high esteem of the populace we treat, we must uphold ourselves to a more honorable life.  

and i wholeheartedly agree with what i was taught.  the rules must apply.  you all see what happens when doctor's behave badly and get away with it (Dr. Corasanti, anyone?)...i can promise you that my ex husband will be amongst that group of bastards.  and then all those nurses who shower him with adoration, all those peers who think he's just a super stand-up guy, all those unknowing patients' families, will finally see who he is under his contrived facade.  this is a man who routinely goes out with friends for drinks, and then gets behind the wheel of his car and drives.  where is the higher standard in that?  this is a hypocrite with a kidney transplant, who routinely binge drinks himself into a stumble and then a stupor.  this is a man with extremely questionable morals who is a repeat adulterer, and he sees and treats YOUR children, Western New York.

listen, smarts doesn't make a doctor.  if there is an M.D. after their name, yes, you can be assured they have the knowledge and the training to treat you or your loved one, but it most definitely does not guarantee you a good doctor, and that is unfortunate.  it really is a personal choice for each of us, the kind of physician we want to partner with for our own care, and to those amongst you who find it is just as important the kind of person your doctor is outside the clinic when he/she is not wearing their white coat, i say good for you.  take control of your own care, and be sure you know who your doctor is and what they espouse.  and, if you should ever suspect that your HIPAA rights have been violated by your physician, the nursing staff, or support staff, i encourage you to seek recourse with the Department of Health and Human Services.  you can find a link to their HIPAA violation page, along with information on how to file a complaint, below...




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